HOLY MOTHER OF GOD

THOMAS.

BALL.

THOMAS.

PHI MU.

OMG.

I HAVE A DATE WITH A BOY TO A DANCE.

A MASQUERADE BALL.

I HAVE A DATE WITH A BOY TO A MASQUERADE BALL.

I HAVE A DATE WITH *THOMAS* TO A MASQUERADE BALL THROWN BY PHI MU!!!!!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

... You Were Saying Something?

Holy crap I'm tired.

This is what I get for staying up at all hours of the night downloading episode 3.02 of Grey's Anatomy. And then watching it. Repeatedly.

Heh. (I need more Grey's Anatomy icons... all I've got is this one and one of George being all sad and stuff. Hmm.)

But yes. I'm back in my sanctuary, my domain, my friendly little teapot spot.

ZE LIBRARY.

:D

I opened... twas easy. Flicka the switchas, put away the papers, and settle wettle in my spinny chair. Now I'm bored. For the next hour and 45 minutes. I think this is what the library was trying to do all along.

Touché library.

Also, because I'm still sleepy, my voice has that husky smoky thing going on... makes me sound like a '50s screen siren. Me likies. :)

And now I shall commence with my comatose behavior. Zzzzzzzz.

The Library Chronicles: Rainy Day Mayhem

Ha ha ha!

I am back, with my elaborate tales of mystery, suspense, and evil library spies!

Currently, it is only myself and Lindsay, who brought me my pill, in the library itself. We are all alone...

Or are we? :P

I'm sure someone will be coming in shortly to ruin my fun.

But until then, I plan on creating as much chaos and intrigue as I can in ze library.

Me thinks I will go see how she is doing... and if she has betrayed me to the mob!


Nope, still loyal. Which is good. :) Also, used the potty. Also good!

And nobody else is in here... which is a mixed blessing. More time to frolic and have fun, less cute boys to oogle.

You win some, you lose some.

And now it's time for me to win some readage so I'm not failing my classes!

YAY!

Eternal Questions

I've had so many different moods today that I feel like Sybil. But I keep coming back to the same one.

I was asked a very important questiont today by one of my closest and oldest friends.

e asked me if it was better to go for something and fail, and know that it was over, or to forever be wondering the what ifs.

And I didn't have an answer.

I've had a crush on this boy since last semester, and I haven't done a thing about it. I giggle about it with my roommate and friends, cracking jokes about my own lack of willpower.

Sometimes when I talk to him, my stomach tightens and I feel like I'm swimming because I'm so nervous.

I'm so nervous and scared that I won't ask him if he likes me, for the fear that he doesn't. I've asked out boys before, attempted to make my crushes become something more. Yet inevitably I always fail.

They never quite liked me back. Not like I liked them.

I always felt like a joke in high school, the slightly awkward girl who never quite got it together. Never quite made the right impression when it came to guys.

I've always been the friend, the girl you'd say a dirty joke to and laugh about it, never the girl you'd try to impress.

And I'm okay with that. I love my guy friends. Without them, my world would be a much sadder and duller place. They provide much needed insight into my world and laughter.

But I wish I had the chance to make it to the other side.

I want to be the girl that makes his eyes sparkle and stumble over his words. I want to dress up and go out on a date, my hands sweating because I don't want to make a fool of myself.

I want that. And I'm so afraid of having the chance taken away that I won't put myself out there.

Truth be told, I'm sick of always having to make the first move. Be the one who puts my heart out on my sleeve.

I want to date. I want to experience that part of life. I want to have fun with a guy.

I don't know what is better.

If you go for it and fail, then you have no hope. You know that there is no chance, and that hurts in that place deep in my heart where it brings tears to my eyes and makes me want to curl up in a ball on my bed. But at least you have resolution.

If you never try, you never know what the answer would have been. It could have been yes, and then you're kicking yourself for wasting opportunity. Or, it could have been no. At least with the what-ifs, there is no killing of the dream.

I still want to hold onto my dreams. But I also want the reality.

I guess you can't have both.

But is wanting both so bad?

Important Announcement!

I'm a big fan of hugs. :)

Deader Than Herpes! Oh Wait..

The library is so dead right now.

Dead dead dead.

Deader than a dead person on dead steroids.

Deader than Phillip Michael Thomas's career! (Oh SNAP!)

My hair is really soft and fluffy today because I didn't put the leave-in conditioner in (I forgot). It's kinda like Hermione hair... all fluff with no definition.

Still, I make it work. ;)

And since I'm so bored (I'm going to read the rest of "Lady Audley's Secret" for my class now), I'll leave you with this quote from myself last night while talking to Roz, my best friend Lindsay's Phi Mu big sis.

"Man, if I wanted to be assistant house chair, I bet there are all sorts of tests. Fill out this form in triplicate with a carbon copy, submit a resume, three copies of course, along with a urine sample, full blood workup, a list of all your sexual partners, then I would have to put on one brown shoe and one red, hop around in a circle three times, and kneel before Zod."

Prelude to a Breakdown

Good LORD am I exhausted.

Fucking Body Building and Development class... OMG IT WAS FREAKING HORRIBLE.

I still ache.

I'm going to be *such* a bitch tomorrow from ze pain. I know it.

Plus, I have to work in like 20 minutes. And then I have Panhel desserts. And then an Exec meeting @ Phi Mu.

Good effin' lord. I have no life anymore. None whatsoever.



My hand just had a stroke.

Seriously. I went to straighten out the fingers on my left hand, and they wouldn't straighten and then all of a sudden this shooting pain went up my left arm from my hand! o.O

I think my body may be falling apart.